(592 words – less than 3 min read)

I mostly read this past week. For the first time I faced the challenge of writer’s block. I was not feeling motivated to write for the past two weeks. I have been taking notes on my journal but not one word on my story. With the fulltime day job and other life responsibilities, it is hard to find time with a fresh brain to write. My love relationship with writing is facing some conflicts and needs some new fuel. It is like a marriage that you have to pay attention to all the responsibilities of the marriage and that dilutes the passion and desire and makes us feel sad and even frustrated. That is exactly how I feel about my love relationship with writing now. I need to remember to manage my priorities based on what makes me content not what life dictates me. I understand, making a balance in our priority list is a never ending but meaningful part of our life. I am sure I will be back on the road after this detour, since I trust this love.

I posted a comment about my concern on NAMW Facebook page and received so many supportive comments. That was heartwarming and makes me feel better.

I finished “Honeymoon in Tehran: Two Years of Love and Danger in Iran” by Azade Moavaeni this past week. She is a second-generation Iranian-American journalist who felt strong roots in her parents’ country, went there and tried to establish a life. She faced so many challenges that made her think twice about her priorities. I really enjoyed reading this book. I relate to almost everything she explains about living in Iran as an educated middle class woman. I am 4 years older than her and was born in Iran. I migrated to the U.S when I was 31. My generation went through the revolution that ended up with a dictatorship governing the country and then 8 years of absolutely unnecessary war with Iraq. All we learned from theocracy over the years through school and society was to feel guilty if we were happy.  We never believed that and always sought happiness and beauty in life in different ways.

Azadeh has explained the challenges people (especially women) face under dictatorship very clearly with no exaggeration. The way she felt it and explained it is very real. I am impressed she managed her expectations realistically as a born and raised American girl.

Since I am writing my memoir, reading Azadeh’s memoir helped me to be braver to explain the negative feelings I had when I lived back in Iran, the feelings that I repressed because of the autocracy’s influence at the deepest part of one’s personal life. It’s easier now to explain when I acted selfishly to survive since I was part of that system and didn’t know better.

I can see now I have come a long way and learned how to defend my rights and respect others in a democratic system.

As I am writing this article for my blog I already feel the motivation again to finish my story and share it with others.

Let’s celebrate life!

Shabnam

Editing Credit: M. Curtis

Photo Credit: https://pixabay.com